anx·i·e·ty
aNGˈzī-itē/
noun
- 1.a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome."he felt a surge of anxiety"
Anxiety. We have all heard the term, and perhaps even experienced it for ourselves. It can break even the strongest. Fear, nerves, anxiety, panic, and stress. My biggest enemies. Multiple things cause this. First, the fear that I am turning 18 years old with out a solid plan. I have no job, no car, and I have yet to re-apply for my social security. I seem to be at a stand still.
Second, the nervousness of money. Life is just too expensive these days. Between cars, gas, apartments, food, clothes, and everything else, how will I survive?
And Third, I fear that i am screwing up. The things I want for myself (to open a tattoo shop, devote myself to my band) What if I am making all the wrong choices? What if I am left with half a life?
Anxiety can be paralyzing, taking control of you and sucking you into this heart palpitating mess of tears and, in some cases, alcohol. It is debilitating, it can make you go from a warrior, to a little child curled up in the fetal position and rocking. It can make women devour pints of chocolate ice cream, it can make teens hide in their rooms, and it can make children scared to go outside. It is a monster.
If you look at it all at once it is paralyzing....don't. Focus on a single goal - a job, a task - something you know you can finish (an album?). You are like a juggler with three chainsaws, an ax and a carving knife and you are looking to pick up a loaded gun.
ReplyDeleteUsually I would look at things one at a time, however, since things are speeding up (I will be 18 in march) things are beginning to make me nervous. I guess what I'm saying is that I fear that if i don't pick up the loaded gun, it may be thrown at me anyways. And I have what I call "fear of the ball" syndrome, so the gun being thrown at me is pretty scary. If this makes sense...? Thank you though for the thought, and for commenting.
Delete